


The Most Important Thing in Life

by Gray_08



Category: Figure Skating RPF
Genre: 2018 Winter Olympics, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Olympics, Sports
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-03-20
Updated: 2018-09-10
Packaged: 2019-04-05 02:34:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 14,052
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14034270
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Gray_08/pseuds/Gray_08
Summary: Javier Fernández thought that he had always known his priority. After the Olympics in which he succesfully achieved his goal to present a medal to his country, he wanted to retire and settle down, living a stable life with his girlfriend. But something, or rather someone, managed to slip quietly as his first priority in life.





	1. The End of an Era

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by several Yuzuvier moments, especially during Pyeongchang Olympics. Hope you enjoy this~

The crowd was deafening his ears. He could see the massive amount of Pooh stuffed dolls raining down all around him, surrounding him with all those cute faces as if they were congratulating him. After a severe injury he sustained while practicing his nemesis, quadruple lutz, Yuzuru had never imagined being on the olympic stage, performing a somehow unbelievable performance of elegance and fierceness, defying all the doubt cast against him. 

Tears were threatening to escape and rolled down his face. The past three months had been a pure torment, when he was not sure whether he could continue being a skater or not. His ankle hurt like hell and insecurities kept flooding his mind. Of course Brian and Tracy were always there to support and help him, he also received many encouragements from his family in Japan and his fans. But all of it was not enough. He was still tortured by the possibility of never be able to recover again.

His performance of Seimei that he had just displayed was like a miracle. Bowing down, he thanked his right ankle who had fought very hard for him. He won against time and injury, and he had showed his very best, no matter what the result would be. He quickly returned to the Kiss and Cry area, where Brian gave him a steady hug like usual. Still in a trance state, he waited for his score, which eventually did not betray his efforts and sacrifice, showed a spectacular number, putting him in the first place.

Joining Nathan Chen and Jin Boyang on the medal seats, Yuzu felt relief and joy washing over him. However, nervousness quickly entered his mind again, this time not because of himself, but because of the man who had just stepped on to the ice. Javier Fernandez. The man whom he was supposed to treat only as a training mate and a brother. At first, that was it, Javi was a very good friend and training buddy. He helped Yuzu a lot with his practice and they spent time together. But that was before. Javier was one of the deciding factors that made this night possible. When Yuzuru hit the rock bottom with the injury, the Spanish skater was always there for him, giving encouragements and being a shoulder to lean on. Slowly, Yuzuru felt something strange within him whenever he saw the older man. 

Javier was skating gracefully on the ice, his face was solemn, with no fear hinted on his eyes. Yuzuru could only stare at the perfection. He knew that Javi would never be his. After all, Javi was as straight as a stick. He had dated numbers of women before. Miki Ando, one of Javier's ex-girlfriend was a figure skating legend in Yuzuru's native, Japan, as well as one of his close friends. Although they had broken up a while ago, they chose to remain as a close friend, especially since Javi had been too attached with Miki's daughter. Yuzu was not sure when his stomach had started to flip whenever Javi pulled him for a hug, or when his heart ached whenever Javi and Miki showed their skinship. All that Yuzu knew was that he had fallen for the spaniard. Hard.

When Yuzuru heard about Javier's separation from Miki, he guiltily rejoiced. Of course he wished for Javier and Miki's happiness but he he could not control what he felt. He tried to get closer to the older man then, trying to make sure of his feeling as well as identifying the possibility of the elder to return his love. Unfortunately, he quickly lost his chance. Being the charming man as he is, Javier found a new sweetheard in no time, a beautiful woman from his hometown, Marina. Yuzuru was heartbroken and disappointed when Javier cheerfully announced his relationship. But Yuzu could never hate the man. Afterall, Javier was still one of his best friends.

Shout of joy almost escaped Yuzuru's mouth when Javier's score came out. His practice really paid off, earning him the second position after his splendid performance, simultaneously securing him a medal for the night. Hugging Nathan Chen who had just lost his place in the podium, Yuzuru stood up to wait for Javier. Inside, Yuzuru felt quite sad that Nathan did not manage to get a medal. The young American's performance for the free skate was crazily good, landing five flawless quads, propelling his score from 17th to the top five. Probably one of the best reversals in history, following Mao Asada's rebound in 2014.

His attention quickly shifted to the spaniard who engulfed him in a hug. Hug had always been their thing. In Japan, which had more formal culture, hugging was not a common thing to see. But with Javier, the hug always came naturally, as if their bodies were built for hugging each other. That night, their hug was serene, warming but without the usual burning passion that they usually had after competitions. And Yuzuru felt worried about that.

"Congratulations." Yuzuru said, smiling at his training buddy.

"You too. The gold medal is within your reach." Javier smiled back relaxedly, holding the younger's arms in a soothing way.

"You can finally get a medal for Spain. You made history." Yuzuru proudly shook Javier's hand, trying his best to speak in English.

"Yes. My dream is all achieved." Javier turned his head from the young olympian. With hesitation, Javier continued his sentence, "Yuzu, this is probably going to be my last olympics."

The last sentence hit Yuzuru like a storm. He knew that all of these would end sooner or later, but he never expected Javier to leave him so soon. He could not say anything, his mouth was shut by an invisible gag. Before he could collect his mind together, his compatriot, Shoma Uno's score came out, finalizing his gold medal. 

"And there is your gold medal. Congratulations." Javier grinned dashingly, his arm securely fastened around Yuzuru's shoulder. 

Yuzuru whispered a quick thank you before standing up again to hug Jin Boyang for his amazing performance. He did not have the chance to talk to Javier privately again since Shoma had arrived and so did the medias. The three of them hugged tightly, congratulating each other for their medals. Yuzuru defied the impossible and defended his medal, Shoma proved himself to be a legendary skater for Japan, and Javier who finally could fulfill his dream and bring his homecountry a medal in figure skating.

"I can't... I can't do it without you." Yuzuru said after their hug, bursting into tears in Javier's shoulder. That was the truth. Without Javier, he would never be able to do this. There were many times that he was about to give up, and Javier was the one who made him strong. Javier pulled him in a tight hug once again, trying to stop his tears. 

Yuzuru did not care that the media was there, filming all their actions. He did not care that Shoma was watching them with a confused look. And he did not care that Javier's girlfriend and his family were probably watching from the crowd. At that moment, all that mattered was Javier. 

The hug that felt like forever was finally stopped by the announcement above them. The venue ceremony was about to begin and they had to prepare to go back on ice. Yuzuru reluctantly detached himself from the broad chest of his friend's, rubbing and fanning his eyes to hide the fact that he had just cried, focusing his attention to the rink and the fans surrounding them. What he did not know was the longing look Javier had for him.

Moments after that flew in a rush. Hectic schedules and activities occupied all of their minds. Both Yuzuru and Javier were busy with interviews, photoshoots, as well as all the congratulatory messages from their respective families. As much as Yuzuru wanted to have a private talk with the bronze medalist, they never had the chance to. And the next thing he knew, Javier had already gone to Madrid to celebrate the win with his family, and most probably his girlfriend.


	2. Uncertainty

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Javier questioned himself about his feelings for his training mate.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Second chapter! Thank you for the kudos and comments :)

Missing the bronze in Sochi was one of Javier's biggest regret. Numerous what-ifs scenarios often popped into his head, wondering what would be like if he managed to grab his spot on the podium then. Presenting an olympic medal to his country had been his childhood dream, and if he had achieved it in Sochi, he actually planned to stop his career back there. Maybe the lost bronze was not so bad. Afterall, his decision to continue his career had rewarded him various things he was thankful for, namely his two golden World medals, the moments he spent with Brian and Tracy, and for sure his friendship with Yuzuru Hanyu.

Javier realized that in the 2018 olympics, he was not young anymore. He was 26 and battling through his third olympics. Although 26 could still be considered as young in other sports, that was not the case with figure skating. Injuries and harsh training forced many athletes in the said sport to retire early, with the younger ones taking the lead. Knowing that this would be his last chance, Javier clenched his teeth and prepared himself to fight to the very end.

In his spare time, Javi had also listed several things he needed to do. His priorities. Of course, in the first place was the olympics, the main reason he had skated for the last four years in need to redeem himself. He contemplated a bit about the next part, but he was sure that he wanted to return to his hometown, Madrid. He missed his family and he was eager to start a family of his own with his girlfriend. The last part of his list was to build a skating rink in Madrid so that in the future all Spanish athletes would not have to leave their homes to train. 

"Hey Javi, Yuzu is starting now." The voice of his coach, Brian Orser, woke Javi from his daydream. His mind returned to the surroundings around him. "I thought you might want to watch him."

"Of course I do." Javier smiled at his coach before turning his head to the man who stole all the spotlight in the middle of the rink. 

Yuzuru never failed to stop Javier's breath whenever the younger was gliding through the ice. There was something about the reigning world champion that gave him a divine aura when he skated, as if all the people watching were under a spell. Javier was quite worried about his training mate. Although he was definitely the favourite for gold after his spectacular short program, Javi knew that Yuzuru was still using painkillers because of his ankle. 

"Prepare yourself. You're up soon." Brian put his hand on Javier's shoulder, giving him a nervous smile before he left to the Kiss and Cry to greet Yuzuru. 

Having to prepare for his own skate, Javier could not focus on the rest of Yuzuru's performance. But he knew from the crowd's reaction and the raining Poohs that Yuzuru must have performed very well, and he felt relief inside him. Hearing his name called, Javier entered the ice with determination in his eyes, and skated as if it was his last time on ice.

Still on a daze, Javier walked to the champions seats after placing second at the moment, securing his medal as only Shoma Uno had not skated yet. He caught a glimpse of Yuzuru and Jin Boyang. The former quickly dropped his stuffs on the sofa and hugged him tenderly.

"Javi..." Yuzuru called him with his usual cute 'Habi'. The younger circled his hands around Javier and rest his head on Javier's shoulder. Instinctively, Javier pat the back of the Japanese man's head as Yuzuru pushed his body closer to him. They exchanged some words of congratulations as their hard works had paid off.

The mood was too good to be spoiled, but Javier still had not told Yuzuru about his retirement plan after the competition. Although he realized that he would never be ready to see Yuzuru's reaction, Javier knew that he still had to tell the younger in person about his decision before Yuzuru found out about it from the media. "Yuzu, this is probably going to be my last olympics."

Yuzuru visibly tensed at the words he had just said. Javier could see sadness, regret, and a tint of disappointment in the younger's eyes and surprisingly, shock. Knowing that the younger was very sharp on observing people, Javier assumed that Yuzuru had already predicted his retirement, but maybe Yuzuru had thought that retirement was still far away. Not long after, Shoma Uno finished his skate, placing second overall, resulting in Javier with the bronze and Yuzuru with his gold. 

Filled with happiness inside him, Javier engulfed Yuzuru and Shoma on a hug. He was really proud of his training mate and he was also happy for the cute little Japanese man he had always treated like a brother. They were embracing each other in a tranquil atmosphere despite the loud crowd cheering behind them. That was until Yuzuru broke down and cried on Javier's shoulder.

"I can't... I can't do it without you." The gold medalist's sob really made Javier's heart churned. He did not know what to do. Trying to stop the younger's tears, Javier pulled Yuzuru into a tight hug, rubbing his back to soothe him. In that moment, Javier wanted to do anything to make Yuzuru smile again, but he had already made his decision, to dedicate himself fully to his family. Unconsciously, his own body melted into the frame of the slender Japanese. Their bodies fit perfectly as if they were made for each other. 

When Yuzuru pulled himself from the hug, Javier felt a surge of emptiness inside him, the aching loneliness that was not supposed to happen in the middle of a crowd that large. His hands were ready to grab Yuzuru back to his safe embrace but his head told him not to. They were rinkmates and friends, but nothing more. In the end, he could only look at his friend sadly from behind.

Afraid of his own feelings, Javier quickly packed his bag after the medal ceremony that day, ready to return to his home in Madrid. He needed to see his family so bad to clear his head. By coincidence, as if she knew Javier's uncertainty, Marina called her.

"Querida..." Javier said sweetly to the phone, smiling imagining his girlfriend on the other side of the device.

"Mi campeón, I'm so proud of you."

"I miss you." 

"I miss you too. I wish I could kiss you right now." 

"You can do it tomorrow. I'm flying back to Madrid."

"I'm so happy! Are you going to stay?" Marina's voice was full of joy that Javier felt guilty for questioning his decision to stay in Spain forever during the competition.

"I still have the gala, querida. I'm going to discuss a few things with Brian first but I'm all yours after that." Javier answered, trying his best to sound cheerful. He imagined retirement to be full of joy, free from burdens and expectations, but he felt uneasy. All his hard work was coming to an end, and so will his friendships with the people in Toronto. With Yuzuru. Suddenly the idea of returning to Madrid became not as exciting as before. He imagined Yuzuru, with his tight training suits gliding around, laughing beside him. The feelings of the younger beside him as they fell on to the ice together.

"I can't wait for that. You, me, and our little family. I love you so much." His girlfriend's voice forced him back to reality. 

"I love you too. I need to return to packing now. So see you tomorrow?" Javier hurriedly tried to end the call, his mind was already flying around.

"Yeah sure. I'll pick you up at the airport. Love you." Marina sounded a bit surprised that Javier cut the call short. 

Usually, they would be talking for more than two hours, feeling the comfort of each other's voice. But that night, Javier wanted to be alone. He needed to strengthen his mind and set his priority right. He told himself that he had achieved his goal, and his responsibility was to be present for his family and his future wife. He did not know why he cringed a little at imagining his married life. He loved Marina, he really did, but something was just not right. Closing his eyes, Javier decided to stop his crazy thoughts and let his brain rest before the flight that will take him to the most precious person in his life. Or so he thought.


	3. Moods

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> How Yuzuru was dealing with the sudden absence of his training mate

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was really happy reading your comments >< Thank you very much and please give more comments ^^

When Yuzuru first heard that Javier would not be present for the gala practice, he surely felt disappointed. He wanted to spend as much time as possible with the older, especially since Javier had stated his plan to stay in his hometown and sell his condo in Toronto. He could not believe that Javier had never mentioned about it before to him. He thought that Javier would have stayed for at least another two years, although the latter had always said his worries about his increasing age.

The absence of Javier surely dampened Yuzuru's mood. The usually smiley boy was replaced by a serious glum looking man. Even Brian, who sensed the dire mood allowed Yuzuru to bring his Pooh to the practice, although he knew that brand was not allowed in the olympics and he was going to get into trouble for it. A little penalty from the olympic committee was nothing compared to a moody Yuzuru.

"Yuzu, don't forget the practice tomorrow. Don't be too harsh on your ankle, they still need to heal." Brian called his Japanese skater, reminding him of his practice.

"Hai. Javi there too?" 

"No, he's going back to Madrid for a few days. Said he'll be back for the gala." Brian answered. Suddenly, the air surrounding him felt cold and he shivered from the aura Yuzuru was radiating. 

"Yuzu... Are you okay?" Brian looked concernedly at the olympic champion. Instead of the usual enthusiastic nodding or the cute 'hai', Yuzuru did not say anything at all. 

At that time, Yuzuru could not hide his annoyed feelings. He was angry to Javier for leaving him, and also for not telling him anything. He had not told Yuzuru about his retirement, and he also had to keep his little vacation to Madrid a secret. Maybe Yuzuru was overreacting, but his mind was clouded with wrath then. 

"Yuzu..."

"Why Javi not tell me?"

"Well.. He said he would be back soon, maybe he did not want to bother you." Brian carefully picked his words, trying not to anger Yuzuru further. 

"Javi must like secret so much. First no tell me about retire, now not tell me about this. What a good friend." Yuzuru's face was getting red, and Brian sensed the danger he was in. Thinking fast, the coach finally made his call.

"Hey, what do you say about taking Pooh to the rink tomorrow? He had never seen an olympic rink before, had he?" Brian felt like a fool talking to Yuzuru as if Pooh was a living thing, but he needed to survive. 

"Really? Pooh can come? They say Pooh can not go to the rink." Thankfully, Brian's effort was not without result. Yuzuru started to brighten at the mention of his yellow friend.

"Yeah, sure. I'll talk to them. It's not fair for Pooh to be locked up in your suitcase. He's one of your bestfriends afterall. I'm sure the committee would understand. So, I'll see you and Pooh tomorrow on the practice?" Brian smiled awkwardly. Of course the committee would not understand. They had this super strict rule about brand, but he would think about it later. Yuzuru nodded happily and skipped back to his hotel room, leaving Brian and his headaches to deal with the committee about Pooh.

With all the interviews and excitement, Yuzuru forgot about Javier and his annoyance for a while. At least until the gala practice, where Yuzuru appeared with a dark expression, his Pooh-san safely tucked in his arms. 

"Look, it's Pooh and Papa Pooh. How are you, buddy?" Misha gleefully skated toward Yuzuru who had just arrived to the side of the rink. "Woah.. are you sick or something?" 

"I'm good." Yuzuru answered briefly before placing Pooh-san on the rink side and took his skate guard off, still grumbling. Meanwhile, Cha Junhwan, who was also one of Brian's student and understood Yuzuru's mood perfectly, grabbed Misha and told him about the situation Brian had briefed him earlier.

"He's mad because Javier-ssi not tell him about going home." Junhwan explained in a rushed whisper. 

"Ah... That's why our Zuzu is acting like a girl on her period. No worry. We only have him happy again. Thanks for the info." Misha grinned widely at Junhwan before approaching Yuzuru again, this time forcing him to play all sorts of game. Misha was one of Yuzuru's bestfriends, along with the Russian champion Evgenia Medvedeva. And as his best friend, Misha would never let Yuzuru sulking on his own, especially after he knew the reason of his friend's foul mood.

Only with a few attempts, Misha managed to drag the Japanese champion to do speed skating, curling, bobsleigh, and other various games that the former had created. Misha was no doubt really talented at raising the moods up. All of the skaters there, Shoma, Boyang, Junhwan, Alex, and many others totally enjoyed their time and mingled really well. Yuzuru's frown was gone in no time and he was back to his giggling teenager self.

When Yuzuru fell on his butt during his attempt to speedskate, Misha laughed at him while offering his hand. "Feel better now? You're even laughing when your butt is all icy."

"I am. Thankyou." Yuzuru grabbed Misha's hand with a bright expression and continued to skate to the others, not minding his cold butt. 

Being surrounded by the other skaters really lifted Yuzuru's spirit up. He even managed to do some conversations with Boyang, although both of them spent more time laughing than speaking since neither of them were fluent in English. At the end of the day, Yuzuru had taken a photo with each skarer and was full of happiness as well as exhaustion. A lot calmer, he no longer felt angry towards a certain Spanish skater.

Sprawling on his bed, Yuzuru opened his laptop to watch some animes, his habit after a long day. Humming, he opened his e-mail to check for any message. Most of them were advertisements, spams, some of them were offers for ice shows, but only one e-mail caught his eye. The sender was none other than his Javi.

'Hey, it's me. I know that you open your laptop faster than your phone so I decided to e-mail you. Heard from Brian you were pretty pissed I did not tell you about Madrid. I'm really sorry. Call me as soon as possible. Love, Javi.'

It was fortunate for Javier that Yuzuru had read the mail when his mood was better. If he had read that in the morning, Javier would have to listen to an angry Japanese-English rant for a whole hour. Yuzuru eagerly closed his laptop and searched for his phone in his suitcase. Javier knew him really well. Yuzuru almost never touched his phone except when he needed to, so the item was found at the bottom of his pile of clothes.

As soon as the screen brightened up, Yuzuru scrolled through his contacts until he found Javier's name. He pressed the green button and put the phone on loud speaker, turning on the TV in the meantime. After a few rings, Javier picked up the call with a muffled 'Hello' and a lot of noise.

"Oh hi. I forgot that time is different there. Call you later?" Yuzuru was a bit shocked at the sudden noise, but then he remembered that it was still afternoon in Spain. The noise went quieter for a few seconds and Javier's voice could be heard clearly.

"Sorry about that. Laura dragged me to go shopping with her. I'm at the bathroom now, so we can talk." Yuzuru laughed imagining Javier sitting on the toilet cover with a phone, trying to avoid the noises. "So, am I in trouble?"

"Hmm... Not really. Not anymore. I am not angry now." Yuzuru grinned when he heard Javier's halted breath from the other side of the call. 

"Thank God. I was preparing myself to get a full on lecture from you." 

"Thank Brian. I was angry yesterday, he was your substitute." Yuzuru replied nonchalantly. 

"Yeah, he called me yesterday. And Misha also texted me a bunch of texts this morning. Apparently Mr. Hanyu was in a really bad mood because of me." 

"Yes. Javi really bad." Yuzuru pouted although Javier was not able to see it.

"Sorry. Apology from the deepest of my heart. I was planning to return quickly before you even realized I'm gone. What can I do so that you won't be mad anymore?" Javier sounded sincere and that made Yuzuru smiled, his anger to the former had fully dissipated.

"Silly. Of course I know if Javi not here. I want ice cream. The biggest one in Korea. You pay for me." 

"Anything for you, your highness. So I take you on an ice cream date, and you need to forgive me. Deal?" Yuzuru's heart beat faster when he heard the word date. But he knew that what Javier meant had nothing to do romantically, so he shrugged it off and played it cool.

"Deal." Yuzuru could not stop smiling then, Javier always knew how to make him happy. Just before he could say more things, a loud knock was heard from Javier's side.

"Shoot. I must have been inside the toilet for too long." Javier grumbled, huffing into the phone.

"Yeah. Many people must be angry to Javi. They need toilet."

"Well, I'd better go now. See you soon?"

"See you soon. And don't forget the ice cream." 

"I won't. Sayounaraa~" Javier ended the call with his cute Japanese, to which Yuzuru giggled silently. 

Throwing off his phone back to the suitcase, Yuzuru grabbed Pooh-san and squished his face in glee. He felt really lucky to have a friend like Javier. Although he would never be able to have Javier as his lover, knowing and befriending him was enough. 

Yuzuru thought about their relationship after the olympics was over. He would most probably going to stay in Japan for a few weeks for rehabilitation, then continuing his training with Brian in Toronto, preparing new programs for the season. But something was going to be different. Without Javier in Toronto, Yuzuru was not sure that his training rink would feel like his second home again. 

He was sure that Javier would promise to keep in contact with him, but he also understood that long distance relationship was almost impossible to maintain, moreover long distance friendship. Different time zones and busy schedules were never on their sides. The distance would catch up to them soon, ripping them apart.

The future when Javier would no longer be his friend, the older too busy with his family, married and being a dad made Yuzuru laughed bitterly. Even if they managed to sustain their friendship, he would not be able to attend Javier's wedding without crushing his own heart. And the imagination of Javier's child calling him 'Uncle Yuzu' only made the pain hit him harder. 

Maybe separation was best for them. Yuzuru was trying to be sure that after a few years away from his Spanish rinkmate, he would be able to move on and live his life. However, that was for the future. At the moment, Yuzuru needed to focus on his remaining time with Javier and live the moments fully.


	4. Vacation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Javier spent his small vacation in Madrid

For the first time, Javier was very thankful for his exhaustion. When he reached his seat on the plane to Madrid, his mind went blank in a second and he drifted off to a dreamless sleep. He even missed the meal offered midway through the journey and he did not regret it a bit. When he woke up, it was only one hour left before he would arrive to his destination. Home.

Even with only one hour, he managed to tire his mind by imagining a certain someone in an inappropriate way. It started innocent enough. He felt guilty for not telling Yuzuru about his little vacation to his hometown. He knew that although they were not the best of friends, they still cared a lot about each other and Yuzuru must have been worried about him. But then it was the olympics, and the said Japanese skater was in the middle of the spotlight. Javier could be the last thing Yuzuru remembered about. 

Three days would not make much difference. He would be back before Yuzuru even got a chance to ask for his whereabouts. The guilt quickly transformed into longing. He remembered the feeling of Yuzuru's lean body in his arms when they hugged after the competition. Javier suddenly felt dizzy as his stomach turned at the thoughts of Yuzuru's hands around his neck, the warm breath tickling his neck, and Yuzuru's lips only a few inches away from his. Javier did not even realize that a part of his body was getting harder as the train of thoughts continued.

'Ladies and gentlemen, as we are going to land soon, please make sure that your seats are in the full upright position, all windows are open...'

Javier could not decide whether to thank or hate the flight attendant who gave the announcement for putting a break in his wild dream. As soon as his mind was back, he felt confusion and guilt flooding through his whole body. He questioned himself, 'Is it normal for someone to feel this way about his friend? His rival? And most importantly, one with the same gender as his?' 

Spain, like most European countries, was quite accepting towards diverse gender preferences. People there do not announce their sexuality in public but they also do not judge others who have different preferences. Javier never had any trouble with the 'different' people. He believed that everyone deserved to love and to be loved, no matter whom. 

He was not gay though. He had dated several women and like most men, he liked to see the curves of a woman's body. But then again, he had read somewhere that almost every person is not fully straight, as they are attracted by both gender under different situations. Javier knew that the article he read was not a mere hoax when he found himself enjoying the sight of Yuzuru's naked back as he changed his clothes to his tight Under Armour inside the locker room. Or Yuzuru's well defined butt that made fans went crazy when he wore the purple pants of sin. 

"Sir, we have landed. You can take your belongings and proceed to the airport." A beautiful stewardess touched his hand softly. Javier pulled his hand back in shock as the stewardess looked at him apologetically. The plane was almost empty, with most passengers already leaving the aircraft. Only him and several people who were waiting for wheelchairs were left. 

"Ah, right. I'll be going now." Javier smiled dashingly to the stewardess, taking his handcarry from the overhead cabin and left in a rush, concealing his embarassment for daydreaming about his friend for the second time in one hour.

"Javier!" Marina hugged him enthusiastically.

"I missed you too." Javier chuckled at his girlfriend's eager act. The air of Spain truly felt relaxing. Hearing his mothertongue being spoken in his surrounding was comforting in a unique way. Javier gave a quick peck on Marina's lips before following her to the car. He was a bit surprised when he saw some fans welcoming him with some banners and cameras. He had not told anyone but Brian and his family about his return to Madrid. Someone must have spotted him in the airport and shared the news. Actually, Javier felt quite glad. His recognition can also meant that figure skating was getting more well known in his home country.

"So, do you feel like a celebrity now? You did not even give a single announcement about your arrival and yet the fans welcomed you at the airport. You're really famous, Mr. Oympic Medalist." Marina hooked her arm around Javier's, her face looked really proud of Javier's achievement as they were sitting down on her car. Javier was sitting on the passenger seat as Marina insisted he would be too tired to drive.

"I guess I am. Future Mrs. Fernandez, what do you feel about dating an olympic medalist?" 

"I can't be happier. I love you." Marina smiled at Javier. She always had beautiful smile. That was one of her charms that managed to attract Javier's attention. Javier smiled at her back, assuring himself what a lucky man he was to have her as his partner.

-

The first day in Spain was spent like a minute. He went home to a small party that his parents had planned to celebrate his medal. Almost all of his relatives were present and even Marina's parents were there as well. 

"Mama, Papa, you don't have to make a party like this." Javier blushed being the center of the attention in the 'Congratulations for Your Medal, Javi' party. 

"We want to. You can not imagine how proud we are." Javier's father squeezed his son's shoulder with a look full of adoration while his mom wiped a small drop of tear on her eyes. 

"Mama and Papa called all of our big family members about you. They even planned to put a giant banner of your face in front of our house. Thank god I managed to persuade them otherwise." Laura shook her head to show her embarassment but Javier could see her proud expression underneath.

"Well, I would not have gone inside if I had seen a huge face of mine in front of this house." Javier laughed and hugged his parents again for the tenth time after he arrived.

"Oh, dear. These are Marina's parents. We believe that we are going to be a family in the future so we invited them to this family celebration." Javier's mother gestured a hand towards a middle-aged couple who were smiling brightly next to his girlfriend.

"Nice to meet you. Thanks for coming here." He greeted them with a firm handshake and a peck on their cheeks. They talked for a while before Marina's parents excitedly went to talk with Javier's parents.

Javier was busy the whole time during the party. First, his father forced him to deliver a short speech in the middle of the room, which effectively embarassed him, and the rest of the time Javier had to talk with all of the people that were present and took pictures with each one of them. Once in a while he would come to Marina, offering her an apologetic look for not being able to give her a private time together, to which she only laughed and told him to go on.

Thankfully, the guests started to decrease gradually after the dessert was served. In the end, only his parents, Laura, Marina, and Marina's parents were left with Laura quickly excused herself before heading to her room to take a rest. 

"We better go home too. Are you coming too?" Marina's father said after looking at the time shown by his watch. His wife nodded in agreement, clearly feeling tired as well.

"I'll stay here with Javi. If you don't mind of course." Marina answered, quickly looking at her boyfriend expectantly.

"Not at all. I'll drive you home tomorrow." Javier smiled reassuringly to his lover's parents who bid their goodbye and left the house.

"We'll be resting too. You can stay at Javier's room, honey. Just don't be too loud, okay?" Javier's mom winked at Marina, who blushed furiously, before dragging her husband down to their bedroom.

"Mom..." Javier sighed at his mom's antiques. He then invited Marina to his bedroom which must have been cleaned by his parents before he came. 

As soon as the door was closed Javier found himself backed off to a wall as his girlfriend eagerly attacked his lips. There was no time for surprise since Javier had been longing for this moment too. He roughly reversed their position, responding to the kiss that Marina had initiated earlier.

His hands went down by instinct, exploring his lover's body after being separated for so long. They never had the chance to satisfy their desire as Javier had to focus his mind on training for the olympics. Him being in Canada while she was staying in Madrid did not help the situation. Now that the olympics was over, they would have all the time for themselves.

"Don't hurry, we still have all night. And morning if you want." Javier whispered in the middle of their kiss as he led her to his childhood bed, covered by the Real Madrid bedsheet from his school days. 

"Shut up. No talking." Marina grinned as she took Javier's shirt off, pulling their bodies close. Javier gladly obeyed as they spent the night relinquishing their longing for each other.

Busied by the exhausting activity and the presence of his girlfriend attached to his skin helped him shift his attention from his rival, who had occupied his mind since the night of the competition. He did not have the ability to think since his body and instinct took over the control. He let himself to enjoy the moment and gave in to the pleasure. Finally, Javier laid down, trying to catch his breath as his girlfriend laid down on his arm. 

"It's been so long since we last did that. That was fun." Javier smiled, stealing a chaste kiss from his girlfriend's lips.

"I agree. So, how was the olympics? We were too busy that I never had the chance to ask you properly about your experience there." Marina asked, her eyes staring at Javier directly.

"Hmm... It was tiring. I felt really nervous. Brian and Tracy were also feeling pressured as hell. All I could remember was practicing. Everytime we finished the practice, I would be too tired to do anything else and just went home to sleep."

"But it was worth it." Marina smiled as she carressed Javier's cheek.

"It was. The last four years finally came to a beautiful ending." 

"How's Yuzuru? You usually always talk about him. Please convey my congratulations to him." Javier tensed at Yuzuru's name. If only she knew what he had been thinking about the said name before he came back here. 

"He deserved the gold. His determination was crazy, my practice would seem like nothing compared to his. He spent hours in that rink although his ankle was busted. And I also heard from Brian that he spent the weekend studying for his school." Javier babbled. He had always admired Yuzuru for his dedication to skating and school. Even Javier had to take a day off every once and then to relax his mind and body, playing soccer with his friends or going to the bar. But Yuzuru only went to the rink and studying at his flat.

"I saw your video, the one with Yuzuru. He looked really sad when you said something about your last olympics." Marina said slowly, her finger was tracing pattern on Javier's chest.

"Yeah. I felt really guilty for ruining the moment for him. But we had trained together for 6 years, so I thought he needed to know that before I told the press." 

"That's true. You also told him about your plan after the olympics?" 

"No. I don't want to be a party pooper. I ruined the mood enough by telling him I would not make it to Beijing. But I guess he must have found out by now from the press. God, he's going to kill me when I return for the gala." Javier chuckled, imagining Yuzuru's angry looks that was both scary and adorable at the same time. "He's going to ask me for ice cream if I don't want to get killed."

"You must really care about him." Marina hummed quietly, gazing at Javier's expression as he spoke about Yuzuru.

"I do." Javier agreed in a small voice before he hugged his girlfriend tighter, trying to have a relaxing sleep.

-

Morning came in a flash. Javier sloppily reached out his hand to fish his phone from the bedside table. He had not opened his phone since he landed, as he was too occupied with his family and reuniting with Marina. His girlfriend was still sleeping soundly beside him. Stretching with a yawn, Javier sat up and scrolled through his phone, where his notifications were filled with Brian and Misha.

'Fernandez. Call Yuzuru and talk to him. Let him lash out at you.'

'Call him now. He's really mad at you. And me.'

'Open your damn phone.'

'Forget it.'

'He already lashed out at me. And I had to let him bring Pooh to the practice.'

'I will cut half of the penalty fee for Pooh from your account.'

Javier felt bad at Brian for being Yuzuru's victim but he also wanted to laugh at his coach. Most of all, he felt relieved that Yuzuru had vent out his anger towards Brian, which meant that he was not going to get a full-scale wrath from the Japanese skater. He chuckled before typing a reply to his coach.

'Sorry coach. Family celebration yesterday. I promise I'll chip in the penalty fee for Pooh. Love you~' 

The message from the Uzbek skater was not really different. He also told him about Yuzuru and his bad mood.

'Bro, how's Madrid? Heard from Junhwan that you were heading home without telling your skating wife. Well, he showed up at the gala practice looking like Voldemort during a muggle hunt. You need to thank me for raising his mood. Oh, and you better call him soon. Enjoy your vacation. Can't wait to see you in the gala.'

Javier could totally imagine Yuzuru's face with his murderous aura. Even though he looked like an innocent little boy, no one could rival his intimidating look. He really needed to treat Misha for a meal sometimes. 

'I'll treat you to a lunch sometimes. Owe you big time. See you soon.'

Right after sending a reply to Misha, Javier ignored the other notifications and decided to mail Yuzuru immediately, telling him to call him when he had the time. He knew that the younger would open his notebook for games before opening his phone. That was if he opened his phone at all. 

"What are you doing?" A sleepy voice made Javier jumped from his position. He was too focused on his phone that he did not realize his girlfriend staring at him.

"Just replying some mails. How long have you been awake?" Javier asked nervously. He actually did not have the reason to feel nervous, but he just did.

"For a while. I'm going to take a shower first." Marina stood up, leaving Javier behind with a confused look. She seemed to be in a bad mood from her cold reply and the way she left him immediately to the shower without a single invitation to join. But then his attention returned to his phone, as he waited for Yuzuru to call him or reply his message.

-

After Javier dropped Marina off at her house, he was immediately dragged by Laura, who forced him to accompany her shopping. She needed to meet her boyfriend's parents soon and wanted Javier's help to find what kind of dresses do men like. Javier never liked to go shopping with a woman. Even going with Marina felt like an endless boring activity when they went shopping. Imagine the same boring activity with your sister.

The whole time they circled the shopping mall, with Javier following Laura behind as she tried on dozens of dresses. Javier kept looking at his phone nervously. Yuzuru had not contact him at all since he sent the message this morning. Keeping himself to be positive, he assumed that the younger had not seen the message, and not intentionally avoiding him.

"What do you think about this one?" Laura asked him the same questions that he had been hearing for numerous times that day.

"Looks good." Javier tried his best to look sincere so that they could end the trip. Laura eyed him suspiciously before taking another dress and disappeared to the fitting room again. At that time, Javier's phone rang and a familiar name appeared on the screen.

"Hello." Javier said nervously, but he realized that his voice was blocked by the other customers inside the shop. Cursing under his breath, he ran outside to find the closest bathroom for some silence.

Yuzuru sounded calm enough. Maybe Misha and Brian had managed to subside his anger. He apologized immediately and promised the younger an ice cream treat to save his life. Of course Yuzuru could not resist an ice cream offer and agreed to him. They were still enjoying their conversations when someone knocked the bathroom door and yelled at him to get out.

"Un momento." Javier yelled back before hastily said goodbye to Yuzuru and ended the phone call. The man who knocked on his stall looked at him angrily before entering the toilet, to which Javier only mumbled a couple of apologies. When he returned to the shop, Laura was holding a paper bag, indicating that his torment had come to an end.

"Where did you go? I can't believe you ran away from me." 

"I went to the bathroom. Yuzuru called and the shop was too noisy." 

"Oh, Yuzu. I miss that guy. He's really polite and sweet. Tell him to visit Madrid soon, I'll give him a tour around the city." Laura and Yuzuru had met when during the Grand Prix Final in Barcelona. Laura liked him so much, maybe even more than her own brother. 

"You love him more than me, don't you? And of course I'll be the tourguide if he decided to visit Madrid." Javier pouted as he took Laura's shopping bag from her, being a gentleman.

"Of course I love my baby brother more. But I don't mind having another brother like him." Laura ruffled Javier's hair. She had always liked to do that, even after Javier had grown up and almost twice her size.

"You can ask mom for another brother then."

"Or you can marry him and make him my brother-in-law." Laura joked. Only, it did not feel like a joke for Javier, who suddenly coughed nonstop, embarassing himself by looking like he was about to die in the middle of a shopping mall. 

Javier spent the rest of his stay in Madrid with his family. He went fishing with his dad and accompanied his mom for grocery shopping. He tried to contact Marina, but it seemed like the latter avoided him. He did not pursue her though, as he would have all the time he needed with her after he finished the gala. And in a blink of an eye, he was already in a flight back to Korea.


	5. Gala

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yuzuru's feelings about Javier and the end of the olympics

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you very much for the comments and kudos! Hope you guys love this story❤
> 
> And really sorry for the slow update, I'll try my best to write faster uwu

Yuzuru swore that he had tried his best to look as neutral as possible when Javier joined them for breakfast before the gala rehearsal. He was goofing around like usual with Misha and Evgenia, Misha sitting in front of the other two, telling a joke when Misha suddenly stopped his sentence midway, smirking at Yuzuru.

"What? Something wrong?" Yuzuru asked nonchalantly, continuing to eat the kimbab he took from the buffet table.

"Not wrong actually, quite the opposite." Misha's smirk never left his face. Yuzuru only rolled his eyes, not a bit interested about what Misha implied. Meanwhile, the young Russian skater turned her back and waved excitedly at someone who had just arrived at the hall.

"Javier!" Despite Evgenia's thick Russian accent, there was no chance that Yuzuru would have misheard what she had just said. Like an owl, Yuzuru almost rotated his head 180 degrees to look at the view behind him. Misha only chuckled at his friend, a bit relieved that the Japanese did not snap his neck.

"Habi!" Yuzuru jumped from his seat as soon as he caught a glimpse of the bronze medalist, running full speed towards the latter. Cha Junhwan, who was talking to the Spaniard quickly stepped aside to avoid getting bumped by Yuzuru, his face showing shock and amusement at one time. Already used to Yuzuru's excitement, Javier only laughed and calmly opened his arms to embrace the younger.

"Alright, you're crushing me now. You're very strong despite that noodle like arms." Javier smiled gently at his rinkmate who was hugging him tightly, not showing any sign to let him go soon. The other people in the room started to stare at them. Some looked at them fondly, while some only found them amusing. 

"No. I'm going to crush Javi." Yuzuru shook his head, snuggling further to the other man if it was possible. 

"Hey, I won't be able to buy you ice cream if I suffocate and die."

"Don't care." Yuzuru replied, still crushing Javier's bone.

"Cut it out lovebirds. We're here to eat, not watching some kind of sappy drama. Look at poor Shoma." Misha approached them and forcefully pulled Yuzuru from Javier, then pointing at Shoma at the other end of the room who choked on his food after he saw Yuzuru and Javier's cringy interaction. Yuzuru turned his head in embarassment before quietly returned to his seat, where Evgenia welcomed him by an endless laughter. 

Facing Javier once again, Yuzuru only gave him a quick signal about ice cream, to which Javier put his thumb up and went to the buffet table to get his food. For the rest of the breakfast, Yuzuru was busied by Misha and Evgenia's nonstop chatter about some Korean singers. The Uzbek was saying something about doing his gala performance based on the best Korean group, which was quickly denied by Evgenia who argued furiously that the best Korean group was a different one. Yuzuru only watched them with a funny expression, once in a while throwing comments which were ignored by both his friends.

During the whole time, Yuzuru felt a strange feeligs that he was being watched by someone. However, when he turned his back, no one was meeting his eyes. He also saw Javier, sitting with the Shibutanis, listening seriously to whatever Alex was explaining about the camera Maia was holding. Shaking off the weird feeling, Yuzuru returned his attention to the table he was in.

-

The gala rehearsal felt somehow familiar but different to Yuzuru. The fun atmosphere was almost identical to the gala practice. The only difference was that this time, Yuzuru's mood was better thanks to Javier's presence. As usual, Yuzuru attached himself to Misha as they goofed around with the others.

"You look happy today, Mr. Hanyu." Misha smirked at his beaming friend.

"I am always happy." Yuzuru shrugged his shoulder, trying to hide the blush creeping on his cheeks.

"I beg your pardon? You certainly look murderous during our last practice." Misha dramatically disagreed with Yuzuru.

Yuzuru only giggled and tried to steer the conversation away, afraid that Misha or the others would notice his tiny crush on his Spanish friend. 

"Just tired. Do you want to play bobsleigh again?" 

"Sure... Let's ask the others to play with us." Misha eyed Yuzuru suspiciously but decided to follow the younger's wish. "Hey anyone wants to play bobsleigh?" 

"Sure! I'm in front!" A familiar voice grabbed Yuzuru's attention. Misha immediately pushed Yuzuru to grab Javier's waist and played the game as Shoma and Boyang were following behind.

During one moment, Yuzuru's cheeky side appeared and he pulled Javier's pants after their bobsleigh fell apart. Shoma and the others watching them were laughing at them. Sneakily, Yuzuru put his arms around the older's body which was supposed to be an act of apology, only in reality, Yuzuru did that because of his desire to initiate a contact with the warm skin of his friend's. Before his subconscious made him do something more, Yuzuru forced himself to skate away from Javier, hiding his longing with his usual bright smile.

Touching Javier had made Yuzuru realized that his feelings was never going away. Even after accepting the hard truth that Javier would no longer be training by his side and after the disappointment of the older's secrecy, his feelings for Javier remained intact. It somehow felt scary, how someone could mean so much for him that he felt chained to the other. 

He wondered whether distance could really fade his feelings for the Spaniard, which was almost as strong as his own identity. Then again, maybe after moving away Javier would forget about him and he would automatically do the same since a relationship needs efforts from both parties. 

But is it what he really want? To forget him and pretend to feel nothing? Yuzuru had considered these questions multiple times and he knew that the answer would always be no. He would rather suffer from his unrequited love and pine for the impossible for the rest of his life than forget the older and move on.

Smiling painfully as if saying goodbye for the last time, Yuzuru stared at Javier who was playing cheerfully. He envied him who looked so carefree, his life was as clear as crystal, compared to Yuzuru's murky water. As if he could read Yuzuru's thoughts, Javier turned towards him and smiled back with all of his warmth. And at that moment, Yuzuru knew that he would never be able to love someone else but him. 

-

"Hey, we still have a couple of hours before the gala. Do you want to collect my debt now?" Javier suddenly scooted closer to Yuzuru, whispering to his ears.

"What?" Yuzuru asked, pulling his earphones off. "Sorry, didn't hear you."

"Do you want to go for ice cream now?" Javier repeated.

"Sure. Is it okay i wear this?" Yuzuru gestured over his Under Armour training shirt.

"Of course not, silly. Grab your coat. I want to take you somewhere a bit far from here." Javier chuckled. Yuzuru nodded and followed Javier's instructions. After they were both ready, Javier used his phone to guide them through the way. 

"How you know this place?" Yuzuru was amazed at Javier's ability to spot an ice cream parlour in Korea. He knew that both of them were not familiar of the country since South Korea rarely hosted a competition or an ice show.

"Do you forget that one of our training mates is from Korea? Ever heard of Cha Junhwan?" Javier laughed at Yuzuru's expression.

"Oh. Junhwan. I thought Javi was so smart." Yuzuru's mouth was forming an O shape, amazed at Javier's idea to ask Junhwan.

"I am smart. Let's go inside." Javier grabbed Yuzuru's arm as they entered the place. Seeing the colorful choices of ice cream made Yuzuru jumped in happiness. He told Javier that he wanted a large scoop of vanilla and chocolate before leaving the older and sat on a table beside the window.

After a long five minutes, Javier sat in front of Yuzuru with two buckets of ice cream in his arms. Yuzuru giggled at the sight of Javier struggling to put the two large buckets without dropping at least one of them.

"The ice cream is huge. I like it." Yuzuru pointed at the two mountains of cream that he would soon devour.

"The waitress must have misunderstood me. I meant a large cup not a giant bucket." Javier grumbled. Most Koreans, like Japanese are not fluent in English, so Yuzuru assumed that Javier had failed to communicate with her.

"It's okay. I can finish. And you're paying, not me." Yuzuru teased Javier.

"Yeah, yeah. Enjoy your ice cream, bought with my medal money." Javier gave Yuzuru a spoon and started digging through the ice cream himself. Yuzuru only hummed quietly, continuing eating his ice cream in silence.

In the middle of his ice cream stuffing period, Yuzuru felt Javier's warm gaze on him. He was sure of it since Javier did not even try to conceal his stare. 

"Why you look at me?" Yuzuru's curiosity finally won over his appetite as he stopped eating for a second to ask the older.

"Nothing. You look cute eating like that." 

"Yeah yeah. No flirting, Javi. Your girlfriend will be angry." Yuzuru replied, rolling his eyes and shifted his attention to the ice cream again.

"Just saying the truth." Javier shrugged, and then he continued, "I'm going to miss this moment. Just us, enjoying our time together." 

"What?" Yuzuru choked on his food, could not believe what he just had heard.

"Easy there. Do you need some water?" Javier pat Yuzuru's back in concern and was about to stand and grab some water when Yuzuru's hand held him down.

"I'm fine. Javi will miss me?" Yuzuru asked once again.

"Of course I will. How many times do I have to say it? You are very important to me Yuzu. I'm retiring doesn't mean that I will forget you just like that. You are still a part of my life." Javier said softly, looking directly at Yuzuru's eyes.

Slowly, tears filles Yuzuru's eyes again. Only Javier could always make him cry with only sentences. And how many times had Javier made him cry after the competition ended? Hearing that Javier thought of him as an important person made Yuzuru cried out of happiness. Although Javier's feelings was platonic, totally different from Yuzuru's, he felt glad that Javier still considered him as a part of the older's life.

"Why are you crying again? I feel bad for always making you cry. You are supposed to thank me for buying you ice cream, not crying." Javier wiped Yuzuru's tears with his thumb, which only made Yuzuru cried even harder. "There, there. Don't cry. People will think I did something bad to you."

"Javi bad. Javi stupid. Now my ice cream has tears in it." Yuzuru calmed himself down and blew his nose with his Pooh handkerchief. 

"Hey! That's your own fault for crying on your ice cream. Seriously though, I always feel sad when I see you cry. So please smile, okay?" Javier pinched Yuzuru's cheek to make the younger smile.

"Sorry. Will Javi go to Canada often?" 

"I can't promise you that. I already signed a contract to promote an ice show in Spain, which will probably take most of my time. And my family will also book me. I also have signed several commercials..." Yuzuru's face fell at Javier's answer, he should have never asked. "But I will always come if you call me."

"You will?" Yuzuru was shocked at the last sentence. 

"I will. Promise." Javier said seriously, holding Yuzuru's hand.

Freeing himself from Javier's hand, Yuzuru held his pinky up. "Pinky promise."

"Pinky promise." Javier accepted and laughed. 

-

Afterwards, came the last part of the olympics. And the last part of this season, at least for Yuzuru and Javier. Both of them had almost been sure that they would not compete at Worlds. Yuzuru was still struggling with his ankle injury and Javier wanted to have a good rest after a tough and probably his last season.

Compared to Sochi, Yuzuru felt stronger emotions. He used to be the underdog, with everyone expecting Patrick Chan to take the gold. But this time, he was burdened with the expectations on him. The whole country was counting on him to win the back-to-back gold. And his right ankle was also another hindrance he needed to overcome. He skated with pain and a nation's expectation, nothing was more difficult than that.

That was why he was so emotional and attached to this place. He defied all impossibility, fought all pressure, and came out on top. It still felt like a dream, something too surreal and too beautiful to be true. But after this gala, he would return to the cold reality. The olympics would finish and everything will be back to the beginning, training in Toronto. Only without Javi. 

And that night, Yuzuru gave his heartfelt performance. All of his feelings could be shown through his Notte Stellata program. His hope, pain, happiness, regret, relief, and his longing for someone was crystal clear on the ice as he carved his way with his blade, flowing like the river. He could not see the crowd anymore, all he could see were himself and the ice below him. 

The next thing he knew was the thunderous claps surrounding him, the audience gave him a standing ovation and he could see the amazed expressions of men, women, and children around him. He bowed down and gracefully left the ice, satisied for giving his best performance given his conditions, and for showing all of the feelings he had buried inside.

"You were just amazing. There will never be another Yuzuru Hanyu." Javier's voice greeted Yuzuru as he went backstage. Yuzuru immediately hugged the Spaniard, laying his head on the older's shoulder. As usual, Javier responded automatically to the hug and curled his arm around Yuzuru's body.

Yuzuru wished that the moment would last forever. His mouth was shut and he could not reply to Javier's praise. He even could not say thank you. He only kept his eyes closed and inhaled the relaxing scent of the other man. He felt as if he was in another world, the world with only him and Javier. He did not cry. He did not want to ruin Javier's last olympic moment. He only stayed silent and savour the moment as long as he could.

"Shall we go? The others are starting to prepare for the finale." After what felt like a second, Javier's warmth left Yuzuru and he saw the walls around them again. Yuzuru nodded lightly and followed Javier to the other skaters who quickly gathered around the Japanese and gave their praise. 

Finally, during the last song when Yuzuru was skating around the rink and observed his legacy, he realized Javier's presence behind him. Yuzuru held his hands back, hoping that Javier would give him a quick toss like what they always did. Instead, Javier took his hands softly as he skated next to Yuzuru. Slowly, Javier put his arm around Yuzuru's waist before he gave his warmest smile and skated away, as if promising Yuzuru that he would never really leave.


	6. Birthday Plan

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Javier cursed himself as he realized that he would not be able to attend Yuzuru's Continues

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! So sorry for not updating for a loooong time. I just got so busy and did not have any time to continue writing. I hope that I can post the next chapter soon. Also, thank you for all the comments and kudos!

Javier cursed himself when he realized that he would not be able to make it to Yuzuru’s ice show. It turned out that he needed to do some promotion for Revolution on Ice in Spain around the same time as Continues. He called his promotor to ask for a change in schedule, but the venue had already been booked and some announcements had already been made.

It had not been two months after the last time he actually spoke with Yuzuru in Pyeongchang. After the Olympics ended, Yuzuru was busy with all those medal ceremonies and interviews in Japan and they never had time to hang out again. Hell, the Japanese even had a whole parade where the people of Japan lined up on the street while he waved to them from the top of a bus. Javier chuckled when he teased the younger about his popularity, to which Yuzuru threw Pooh-san straight to Javier’s face.   
When Javier came to Toronto to pack up his things and signed his apartment lease termination Yuzuru had not returned to practice yet. Maybe it was better this way, Javier thought. After all, if Yuzu saw him packing up, the younger would just sulk or even cry. He cursed once again while contemplating on how to tell Yuzuru that he would not be able to the younger’s ice show.

“Javier, what are you getting so upset about?” Javier could feel slender arms wrapped tightly around his waist. Without looking, he already knew that those belonged to his girlfriend, Marina.

“I’m an idiot. How could I forgot to tell my promotor that I have to go to Yuzu’s show in April? They booked me a promotion event during the show and now I must bail out on Yuzuru but I don’t know how to do that without pissing him off or making him sad. Can the floor just suck me in now?” Javier sighed, clasping his hands on his girlfriend’s.

“Don’t be so dramatic Javi. I’m sure Yuzuru will understand. He knows how important Revolution is to you. Besides, we won’t be able to celebrate your birthday together if you go to Japan during that day. I promise that I will give you an unforgettable night as your birthday present.” Marina tightened her hug and bit Javier’s shoulder, which usually never failed to make the skater smile. However, this time Javier did not react at all and kept frowning at his phone.

“You can’t say that, Marina. Revolution is very important to me, but so is he. Heck, he’s one of the reasons I can accomplish so many things I had never dreamt of before, I really owed him a lot. And this show is really personal to him. I really screwed up. I even promised him that we would celebrate my birthday together.” Javier continued to blabber without noticing that Marina slowly pulled her hands from his grasp. 

“You know what Javi? I’m really tired that you keep acting like I don’t matter. I love you, but I don’t think that you feel the same. I know it sounds petty but I’m glad that you won’t be able to make it to that ice show. You keep saying that you don’t want to disappoint him, but are you sure that you’re not just disappointed because you won’t be able to spend your birthday with that Hanyu? Think about it.” Marina said tearfully before running to the bathroom and slammed the door. 

Standing still, Javier did not know what to do. He was very sure that he loved his girlfriend. He even planned to propose to her when he turned 30, as he believed that their relationship would last. He did not realize what was it that he said that hurt Marina. Could it possibly that he revealed his plan to be with Yuzu during his birthday? Or that he’s disappointed to be in Spain with her for his birthday? Javier heard sobbing from his bathroom stall and he knew that he had screwed up for the second time that day.

“Marina. Querida. I’m sorry, okay? I just want to be a good friend. I did not mean to make you sad. Of course I’m very happy to be able to spend my important day with you. I’m just disappointed that I won’t be able to keep my promise to my friend.” Javier said softly from outside the door, trying his best to calm his girlfriend down.

“Your face screams unhappiness all over, Javi. Are you really sure that you love me and not your so-called friend?” 

“Like I told you, I just want to keep my promise, that’s why I’m sad. I love you, Marina. And I always will. I already imagined us with our little family in the future. You’re the one I’m dating and I’m pretty sure I’m straight.” Javier chuckled at the thought of him loving another man romantically. “Alright, you can plan my birthday party. I won’t complain about anything as long as it’s not overboard. How’s that sounds?”

Marina smiled a little when Javier said the things with their own little family. That’s what she always wanted. A stable life with children and the man she loved. She felt a bit guilty for being jealous about her lover’s friendship with the Olympic gold medallist. She knew that their friendship was important, but she could not help but feel jealous about Javier’s attention to the Japanese skater.

“Deal. I’m going to make the best party ever. And I love you too.” Marina came out of the bathroom. A little smile was present on her lips although her eyes were still red and wet from tears. Javier hugged her immediately and pressed a small kiss to her head.  
-

“What the hell Javi? You’re asking me to drive you to the skating rink on 4 at the morning? A huge no for you, little brother!” Laura tried to escape to her room when Javier came to her apartment to ask for a favour.

“Please, Laura! You know that I won’t ask you if I can do it myself. It’s really hard to find a ride at 4 and you’re the only person I can ask.” Javier grabbed his sister’s hand, trying to prevent her from escaping.

“Why don’t you drive yourself? Did you forget how to drive after you spend most of the time travelling by blade on your shoes? Or do you think an Olympic medallist is too cool to drive on his own?” Laura asked sarcastically. Sleep is very important, and her brother is asking her to drive him for a long journey, when the sun itself was still sleeping.

“Come on, Laura. I had a fight with Marina yesterday and I had to allow her to plan a party for my birthday. You know what a party will be. A lot of booze involved is not compatible with driving. You don’t want me to disappoint Yuzu further, do you?” Javier finally used his hidden card. He knew that his sister liked Yuzuru and would not allow him to disappoint the latter. 

“I hate you. You know that I’m weak when it comes to Yuzuru. But wait a second. If you predict yourself to be too drunk to drive, how can you skate? As a skater myself, I know that skating needs a lot of balance and consciousness, both of which are gone when you’re drunk.” Laura looked at her younger brother worriedly.

“Are you underestimating me? I have skated for so many years that it will come naturally to me. I’m a hundred percent sure that I will be able to skate perfectly with alcohol in my system. Well, maybe I need to tone down the jumps a little bit, replacing the quads to triples or doubles. But spin and steps won’t be a problem. So, you agree to drive me later?” Javier grinned.

“I really want to drink during your party.” Laura sighed. “Fine. But you owe me one.” 

"Thank you, Laura! I'm going to stop bothering you now!" Javier hugged his sister gratefully.

"Ugh. Don't blame me if Yuzu got mad at you for ruining his show by drunk-skating even if you're only there through video." Laura hugged Javier back lightly. "But does he know that you're probably gonna be drunk when you're skating for him?"

"I think I forgot to tell him the details. He's already fine with the whole video thing though. But hey, Yuzuru likes me."

"Oh God. I don't know how Yuzuru managed to put up with you. As handsome as you are, sometimes you're annoying as hell. I think you need to marry the man, Javi. This way we both can benefit from it. You can have someone who can put up with your craziness and I can have him as my brother." Laura said in a serious tone while patting Javier's back as if she was giving an important life lesson.

"Shut up. What's with your obsession in having Yuzu as your brother? You have me already. And he's the crazy one, not me. I'm not the one who tried to land a quad lutz with a broken ankle and painkiller all over my system. I almost killed him myself that day. No wonder Brian kept losing his hair." Javier grumbled as he remembered the time when Yuzuru almost made him and Brian got a heart attack.

"Aww, you really cared about him, don't you? I was not surprised when you told me that Marina got jealous of your relationship with Yuzu. If my ship will never sail, I have to say that I'm glad Marina is the one to have you. Her patience is amazing."

"Yeah, yeah, whatever. I really have to go now. I promised Marina to pick her up for dinner. Thank you once again Laura! Bye!" Javier waved quickly to his sister before leaving the apartment.


	7. Continues

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yuzuru felt disappointed that Javier could not come to his show. Thankfully, his two idols managed to lift up his mood.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another update! Sorry that the last chapter was really short. Hope you enjoy this!

Yuzuru felt disappointment seeping into him when he received the call from Javier that day. He was playing some video games after a long day of meeting at his room, not checking his phone at all when his mother barged in.

"Yuzu, there's a call for you." Yuzuru's mother shouted from the door of his son's room. As she had expected, nothing came as a reply. She had no doubt that her son must be playing game with his noise-cancelling headphones. "Ah really, this child."

Yumi opened the door and walked straight to the skater who was sitting in front of the computer. She removed the headphones from her son's head, which made Yuzuru turned around in shock.

"Okaa-san, since when have you been here?" 

"I have knocked for quite a long time." 

"Ah, gomennasai. I did not hear anything at all." Yuzuru hugged his mother and smiled sheepishly.

"It's okay Yuzu, I'm used to it already." Yumi chuckled lightly.

"What makes you come here? It's not dinner time already, isn't it?" Yuzu asked, wondering what made his mom came into his room.

"Oh, Javi called. He said he had something important to tell you but you never answered his call. It's best if you call him back now." 

Yuzuru yelped and looked for his phone that he abandoned in the pile of his blanket. He frantically turned it on and saw 8 misscalls from a certain Javier Fernandez.

"Oh no. I will call him now. Thank you okaa-san." Yuzuru kissed his mother's cheek and dialed the Spaniard's number, smiling widely as he had missed to hear his friend's voice. Yumi looked fondly at Yuzuru, feeling happy that he had a friend like Javier who could make him happy.

-

"Yuzu?" The voice from the other side of the phone asked.

"Javi! I'm sorry I was playing game and not hear you call." Yuzuru apologized immediately.

"I already guessed so. That's why I called your mom." Javier laughed. "If you're playing, at least put your phone on vibrate near you."

"Sorry, sorry. So, why Javi call? Okaa-san said it's important." 

"..."

"What? Did you say something?" Yuzuru heard some mumblings from Javier's side but could not understand what he said.

"I'm very very sorry Yuzu. But I don't think I can make it to your ice show." Javier's voice sounded hesitant. As if he was dreading to break the news to Yuzuru. 

Yuzuru felt disappointment and a slight of anger washed over him. Among all of the people that he invited, he imagined that Javier would be the one who would surely come. Afterall, besides Javier being one of Yuzuru's inspiration, they were rinkmates for a lot of years, and best friends for the last few years. He did not know how to react to Javier' apology.

"It was totally my fault. I was so stupid that I forgot to cross-check my schedule. It turned out that I have a promotion to do on the second day of the show, which means that I won't be able to make it to all of the shows." Javier continued after Yuzuru's silence. "I know how important it is for you, and I really wish that I can come. I'm very sorry, Yuzu."

"But... I already planned everything for Javi. This show is about people important to me and Javi is the most important." Yuzuru said in small voice.

"Really? Even compared to Brian and Tracy?" Javier laughed, although his voice still sounded sad.

"No. I love Javi, Brian, Tracy the same. But Brian and Tracy are coach. Javi is my friend and hero." Yuzuru replied. "My only close friend.."

Yuzuru told the truth. Sacrificing his life for skating meant that he did not have many close friends. He had a lot of them, but none really knew him like Javier did. They shared the ice for most of the time and Javier knew exactly what Yuzuru had struggled with for his achievements. Javier was the only one Yuzuru really trust, even when they were each other's competitor. 

"I know.. I hope I can make it up to you somehow. I just can't skip this event. It's fot Revolution and I'm their main skater." 

"That's okay. I know it's very important for Javi. I can see you in Fantasy anyway." Yuzuru tried his best to let out a smile even if that felt bitter. Javier might be the most important person for him beside his family, but he knew that the same did not apply in reverse. Unlike Yuzuru, Javier managed to socialize well and had a lot of friends, not to mention his girlfriend. And he also realized that Revolution was as important for Javier as Continues was to him.

"Hey, I actually got this a little bit crazy idea. But I know that you love crazy so you might agree to it." Javier said to lighten up the mood.

"What?" Yuzuru hummed.

"Do you mind if I skate for you through video? I can do it live from Spain in the third day." 

"You mean like Skype?" Yuzuru asked, confused by Javier's idea.

"Yeah, kind of. We can do a small interview and stuffs. Well, it's not enough to cover my mistake but that way I can still be a part of your show."

"I'm happy if Javi can be in my show. But what time is it in Spain when my show start?" Yuzu asked again, worried about their time difference.

"It's an ungodly hour. Around 3 to 4 in the morning maybe. But it's the least I can do for you, so you don't need to worry." Javier replied nonchalantly, as if skating at 4 in the morning was not a big deal. Yuzuru wanted to laugh since the older sometimes could not even wake up for afternoon lessons.

"Really Javi? I don't think you can wake up. And old man needs sleep."

"Hey! Don't underestimate me. I'm not that old."

"Okay. I'll tell the show manager."

"Oh, and Yuzu, abour our birthday dinner. I feel so guilty from ruining that too. Have you booked a restaurant or anything for it?" Javier asked worriedly. He had promised Yuzuru to spend his birthday with the younger. And knowing Yuzuru, there was a high probability that he would have booked a restaurant or appointment for the celebration already.

"Don't worry about it. I was too busy to book." Yuzuru lied through his teeth. Actually, he had booked a reservation and even prepared a gift for the older already. He made a mental note to ask Plushenko or Johnny Weir to go to the reservation with him since it would be such a waste to cancel the order. 

"That's good. Okay, see you later Yuzu. I'm gonna miss you." 

"I'll miss you too Javi." Yuzuru sighed. 

-

On the day of the rehearsal, Yuzuru gleefully greeted all of the performers of his show. He could not believe that he managed to invite all of his childhood heroes to skate for him. Evgeni Plushenko and Johnny Weir had always been his idols and it felt weird for him to be able to interact with them this freely. They treated Yuzuru like a younger brother, or even a son, and truly cared for him.

"Plushenko-san! Johnny! Thank you very much for coming! Domo arigatou gozaimasu." Yuzuru skated excitedly towards his two idols who were goofing around with each other and quickly bowed before them. The American had always insisted for Yuzuru to call him by his name since Weir-san sounded too old.

"Yuzu, we're the one who should thank you. It's good for us old people to skate again in front of this many people." Johnny gracefully slung his arm around Yuzuru, which made the younger blushed in an instant.

"True. Ice shows are like holidays with payments. We get to travel around, eat delicious food, and hang out with each other." Plushenko added with a smile. 

"Still, I am really really happy that you can come." Yuzuru was still blushing as he was still in Johnny's embrace.

"Aww, you're so cute honey." Johnny cooed, pinching Yuzuru's cheek. Plushenko laughed and stared at them fondly.

"Stop it Weir. He's not a child anymore. Look at all those muscles." Plushenko said.

"Hmm, that's true. Our Yuzu is a man now!" Johnny said proudly. "So, you have a girlfriend already?"

"No, no, no. I still focus on skating." Yuzuru answered quickly, quite ashamed of his lonely romance life.

"That's okay. It's better to be patient than rush into things." Plushenko replied. "So, which way do you swing? I can set you up when you're ready."

Yuzuru looked blankly at Plushenko, not getting what the older was asking him. What did he mean by swing? 

"Come on, Plushy. It's clear if you spare some time to observe how he looks at our Spanish casanova." Johnny giggled.

"Fernandez? Damn, I never knew that. Is it true, Yuzu?" Plushenko asked Yuzuru, smirking.

"What? What about Javi?" 

"Weir here is pretty sure that you're interested in our Spanish man." Plushenko gestured and pointed at Johnny.

"Javi and I are only friend. A really, really good friend." Yuzuru used his whole body to express a no, before he added quietly. "Besides, Javi always has girlfriend."

"Oh Yuzu, it's okay. I know that one day you'll find someone who's right for you." Johnny hugged Yuzuru again from behind. "Javier is really something, isn't he? Cannot stand a whole month being single. And women always go crazy for him." 

"He's good looking and has a good manner. Of course women will go after him." Plushenko replied in a matter of fact tone. "Speaking about Javier, where is he? I haven't seen him since I arrived. You invited him for sure, right?"

"Of course I invited Javi. Javi cannot come, has to do Revolution promotion. But he will skate in last day, in video." Yuzuru answered.

"It's good that skating becomes more popular in Spain. He's really making a difference." Johnny nodded.

"Oh, I have something to ask you." Yuzuru said shyly.

"What is it?"

"Do you want to go have dinner with me? I booked a nice restaurant for after our last show. It is really hard to get a reservation there. Salmon is really good." Yuzuru fiddled around, nervous waiting for the answer from his two idols.

"I don't see why not. Of course we'll come, Pooh." Johnny ruffled Yuzuru's hair with a fond smile while Plushenko also nodded, agreeing to go with them.

"Thank you! Thank you! I can't wait for it!" Yuzuru smiled, bowed multiple times, and skated off when Takahito Mura called him.

"Isn't it weird? Why is he only inviting us both? I thought we're going to have a group dinner on the last day." Plushenko said suddenly, realizing that Yuzuru had scheduled a group dinner for the day after instead.

"Oh Plushy, you're so dense sometimes. Do you realize what day is the last show?"

"Sunday?"

"Yes. And it's also Fernandez' birthday." Johnny huffed, tired of his friend.

"I get it! Yuzuru booked the restaurant for Fernandez! He suddenly can not come so he asked us instead." Plushenko looked quite proud of himself when he figured the whole things out.

"Great job! You're really smart!" 

"Don't be so sarcastic, Weir. Poor Yuzu, he must have waited to spend some time with Fernandez." Plushenko sighed.

"I know." Johnny also let out a sigh. "Hopefully, we can cheer him up a little."


End file.
